Watch Out For Tasty Muppets

Their slim papery ears are like ham. Ham is tasty and goes well in sandwiches, but clogs arteries and tips scales. Their fur is like cotton candy. After the sugar rush, your teeth rot. It's fun to breathe fire but the inevitable result is inhaling clouds of black smoke. That's not good for your lungs.


The face of mortal peril

They live in boxes. Some boxes are huge, some boxes are tiny. All boxes are rectangular and finite. It's so tempting to rummage through boxes eating muppets. I'm good at it! I snack on them like California rolls. But you'll find more nutritional content in a bag of Cheetos.

It's much better to be vegetarian. Adopt cute muppets and put them on a leash. My mentor got really good at that. Famous for it, even. He's invisible but if you can't see his shadow then you're blind.


Lyrics are his, tune mine